Episode #8: Where Does Low Self Esteem Come From?

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Where does confidence come from and how do we get it? This is a question I've asked myself many times over my life, especially when I could not understand the direction my life was heading. It was the question that kicked off my whole confidence journey, which turned into sharing my journey with other women so that they could feel less alone and have some tools that they could use as they learn how to embrace who they are and grow their confidence.

Finding My Way through Low Self-Esteem

I started struggling with low self-esteem around the age of 12 and carried it until the age of 28 when things started to shift for me. It took me two years to shift from surviving to awareness and opening my mind to understand who I was and allow myself to feel emotions and understand loneliness.

Understanding Low Self-Esteem

By definition, low self-esteem is the lack of positive belief about who you are and what you're capable of. However, I like to look at it from two different levels—confidence in who you are as a person and confidence in what you're trying to achieve.

A lot of times, many of my clients do not even know who they are because they feel like they've stepped so far away from themselves. They aren't happy but they aren't sure where to start on their confidence journey. 

Unraveling Limiting Beliefs

When I went through severe depression, I needed to figure out what wasn't working in my life. When you have deep beliefs about yourself are very negative it can feel like there's no way out, you hardly understand that you have the power to shift your perspective on who you are.

For a long time, I viewed myself as a loser, limiting my potential and participation in the world. We often discount our accomplishments whenever we have a negative framework about ourselves, staying stuck in a small comfort zone of negativity. But for you to overcome this, you need to start looking at yourself and asking yourself the questions, what is that belief about myself that's running the show here in a negative way? Or how do I perceive myself?

Breaking Free from External Beliefs 

We are raised with societal or family beliefs that may not align with our authentic selves. As an adult, it's your responsibility to examine and question those beliefs. Build awareness around who you are and grow your confidence in a way that feels authentic to you.

You can choose to be yourself and show up as you are all the time, even though it can be challenging around family and long-time friends. Cultivate a life where you show up as your empowered, authentic self and feel confident while growing in the identity of who you are instead of who you've been playing.

Nurturing Yourself and Embracing Compassion

Low self-esteem comes from the idea of "I'm not enough" and pretending to be someone you're not. Shift your perspective, treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and nurture yourself in a way that shows you deserve care and kindness.

Understand that life is messy, and you will make mistakes and experience negative emotions. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, accepting all the messiness that comes with being human.

Overcoming low self-esteem is a transformative journey that begins with self-awareness and a shift in perspective. By embracing your authentic self, questioning limiting beliefs, and nurturing yourself with compassion, you can break free from the cycle of low self-esteem and build a life filled with confidence.

If you're ready to embark on this transformative journey, consider exploring my confidence coaching package. Sign up today for a free discovery call to see if coaching is the right fit for you. 

XO,

Ellie Curry