Episode 47: Upleveling Your Standards: A Journey to Self-Love

 Read or Listen 

Hey there, it's Ellie, your host from Own Your Confidence podcast, and today we're diving deep into the topic: upleveling your standards. I remember a time, not too long ago, when I didn't even understand what this meant. Back then, I was settling in various areas of my life, trapped in a mindset of not being good enough. It's funny, I was achieving things, big things. I went to school for fashion merchandising, lived in New York City for a while - I even had this amazing internship at Elie Tahari. Yet, internally, I was falling apart.

The Illusion of Achievement: When External Success Masks Internal Struggles

Living in New York was overwhelming for me. I lacked the social skills to navigate the busy city, and soon, I found myself in Columbus, Ohio, working as an assistant buyer. But inside, I was crumbling. I felt like a failure, not meeting the standards set for me at work. My confidence hit rock bottom, and I spiraled into depression. I was my harshest critic, a victim of my own toxic self-judgment. My standards mirrored my internal turmoil.

The Turning Point: Discovering Self-Love

It took hitting this low point for me to realize that my standards were reflections of how I saw myself. I settled in relationships, drowned my sorrows in unhealthy habits, and felt like I needed others' validation to be worth something. But, amidst the darkness, a tiny voice of self-awareness emerged. I made a choice: I would learn to love myself before seeking validation from others. This decision wasn’t an easy one. It meant uncovering my deepest insecurities and challenging the toxic narratives in my head.

The Journey to Self-Compassion: Uncovering the True You

It wasn’t an overnight transformation. It took years of intentional work and self-reflection. I questioned every thought about myself, examining the root of my self-doubt. One exercise changed my perspective: writing down my name and listing every thought that came to mind about myself, uncensored. This simple act revealed the depths of my self-judgment but also marked the beginning of my journey towards self-compassion.

Embracing Self-Love: Building a Foundation for Authentic Living

Now, I drive down the road, listening to music, and I feel content, happy for no reason at all. But it wasn’t chance that brought me here. It was deliberate steps toward self-love. I had to redefine my standards, not just in relationships, but in how I treated myself. It started with my thoughts, transformed into actions, and became my new way of being. Loving myself gave me the strength to pursue my dreams, start my own business, and form meaningful connections.

So, I invite you to ask yourself: How can you uplevel your standards? How can you think of yourself in a kinder, more compassionate way? Remember, every step you take towards self-love is a step towards a life that reflects your true worth. You deserve that, and more.

Sending you all my love. Here’s to a week filled with self-compassion and growth. 

XO,

Ellie Curry