“Just Feel Your Emotions!”… But How?

“Just feel your emotions!” That is the advice I would get when I would feel like my emotions were running my life. My only thought was, well how do I do that!?

Do you ever feel like your negative emotions are running your life? When you are up it’s awesome and you feel unstoppable, but when you are experiencing a negative emotions it is running the show?

My Experience With Emotional Avoidance

I used to let my emotions run the show. When a negative emotion would come over me, I would resist with everything I had. I was terrified of negative emotions. I thought that if I let myself feel a negative emotion, I would be stuck in it for days, weeks, even months. Finally I realized that the opposite is actually true. It was because I was pushing my emotions away, and didn’t want to deal with them that they stayed around longer.

So… How Do You Feel Your Feelings?

Okay, so how do you feel your feelings?

Step 1: Label the Emotion

The first thing to do is acknowledge what feeling it is. Label it, say it out loud, I am feeling ... xyz emotion.

Step 2: Find It in Your Body

Then, ask yourself, "where am I feeling this emotion in my body?" This helps you build your mind-body connection. I always say that emotions are your body responding to your mind.

Step 3: Identify the Trigger

Next, ask yourself, “why do I think I am feeling this?” This will help you identify what in your life triggers your emotions.

Step 4: Listen to the Message

The next question to ask yourself is, “what is this emotion trying to tell me?” There is always something to learn from your emotions. Fear is typically trying to keep you safe from something. Anger can show you a circumstance where you are not sticking up for yourself, or a boundary is being crossed.

Step 5: Let the Emotion Be There

Lastly, let the emotion be there. This is the acceptance phase or the “feeling” phase. You just accept that right now you are feeling that emotion. Whenever your mind comes back to the feeling, remind yourself it is okay to feel. It is safe to feel. My feelings are allowed to be a part of my experience.